


Crime and Prejudice

by Jeaven



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Porn, Blowjobs, Drama & Romance, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Porn With Plot, handjobs, lawlight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-19 04:30:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10632234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeaven/pseuds/Jeaven
Summary: L is convinced he's going to be killed by Kira within the next days. Light, however, doesn't submit to Kira upon getting his memories back.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hufflepuffmish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflepuffmish/gifts).



> This one is for Mels, because the plot was her idea too and because she always inspires me.

**Crime and Prejudice**

 

 

It's over.

L knows it the second the Death Note touches Light's fingers.

It really doesn't take a genius to notice Light's guttural scream as the book is passed to him, but the sudden _shift_ in Light's whole being makes L's alarms go off. He sees it in his eyes, too. The horror in them is far too deep for the sight of the Shinigami to be responsible.

But there's nothing he can do about it.

He avoids thinking about Light until they're back at the HQ, and even then, he tries to keep busying himself with other things. But he's getting nowhere, and by the end of the day, when he's laying alone in the bed he and Light had shared for months, he has to admit to himself that trying not to think about Light is a lost cause. He also has to admit that he doesn't enjoy being alone in a room like he used to.

That's when Watari calls and informs him there's someone at the door.

It turns out to be Light, standing outside the HQ at midnight, his hair and clothes ruffled, looking absolutely miserable.

L has opened the door for him before he can think twice about it.

"I couldn't sleep," Light offers.

L should probably ask him why he's really here.

"Me neither," he says.

Light smiles. "Wait, you actually tried to?"

"I'm tired," L answers simply. He isn't up for jokes, not when he can practically feel his life slipping away from him as the Kira case is spiraling out of his control.

"So you haven't been working on anything?" Light sounds a little disappointed.

Technically, L's still working on the Kira case. But addressing that would mean admitting that they're enemies again and he doesn't want to do that.

"No." He pauses for a second, then, without really knowing why, adds "It's late. We should go upstairs."

Light's expression gets a bit brighter. "Yeah. Let's go."

It's as if they're still bound by the handcuff, as if Light still had no knowledge of being Kira and it's so _wrong_ L wants to hurl but there's also that side in him that doesn't want to be anywhere else.

They go up the stairs and to their old bedroom in silence. Their steps echo loudly in the hallways, and L can't help but notice there's a slight change, a hesitance to Light's step, reminding him of why this is a bad idea. Light is Kira, and for L the evidence is everywhere. He'd never been so careless towards one of his suspects, that even now, when he's staring the truth right into its eye, he clings to every ounce of ignorance in the room.

When they're standing in front of the bed, Light stops.

"L," he says, voice strained. "I... I just..." He trails off and leaves the sentence unfinished.

L is glad. They've created a bubble around themselves, one that shields them from what has happened in the last days, and both of them are very well aware that a few words are enough to shatter all of that.

Light's expression is frustrated though. L, for all he lacks social skills, has lived with him long enough to watch several emotions cross his face, before it finally settles on determination.

"I wish it wouldn't be like this," Light finally says.

L tenses; that's dangerously close to bursting their peace. "Me too."

Light sighs. "This is the only chance to do this, then."

L frowns, and doesn't understand, but then Light is suddenly standing right in front of him and their lips meet in a forceful kiss.

Not forceful, L realizes when Light moves his lips against his. It's desperate.

L's never done this, and so it takes him a moment to catch up. When he does, his hands move up to Light's face, cup his cheeks and apply feather-like pressure. His lips tentatively start to move against Light's, but he's inexperienced and suddenly a bit nervous.

Their kiss softens. Light's previous, determined but harsh movements retreat to something almost tender and loving and L lets himself melt in his arms.  
L feels Light's hands going from his shoulders down to his waist, tracing the lines of his chest through the fabric of his sweater and he tenses without being able to help it.

Light moves back, a frown has grown on his face and he's worryingly eyeing him. "You want this, don't you?"

"Yeah." L bites his lip and for a brief moment worry appears on his mind again (this time a different kind, though, because _how_ is someone like _him_ ever going to be able to something that acquires as many social skills as _this_ ). "I'm just not used to being touched."

Light's eyes cloud with understanding, albeit his posture is sad when he moves away. "Sorry, we don't have to do anything if you-"

"No." L hurries to cut him off and stops his retreat with two fingers on his shoulder. "I want to."

Light smiles, honestly, which makes L's heart ache because he thought he'd never see that smile again.

Light moves back to kissing L, but this time he's walking backwards, tugging L along until he's slowly lowering himself on the bed. L has no choice but to follow.

Strangely enough, he trusts Light in this moment. Nevertheless, his heart is short of beating out of his chest as he's finally laying on top of Light, because he can feel their bodies pressed so tightly against each other that he's almost inclined to believe there's no purer form of intimacy.

Their kiss gets more heated again, and this time L doesn't mind. He feels Light's tongue licking at him lips and eagerly opens his mouth to grant him entrance.

His own hands seem to be moving on their own accord. While one of them is resting above Light's head to support his weight, the other one is trailing down to the hem of Light's shirt. That's where he hesitates again, but Light makes a encouraging noise into his mouth and L's fingers slip under the fabric.  
He flattens his hand over Light's belly, traces the silky skin with his fingers. Light is gasping into his mouth and shuddering against him and every touch seems like fire that could burn him should he make a wrong move. He pushes further though, lets his hand travel all the way to Light's nipples, lets his finger tentatively rub the nubs.

Light starts to moan under him, he starts to writhe and L's never felt power quite like this.

They continue like this for a while, kissing sloppily and a little desperately, with L's fingers under Light's shirt and Light's hands in his hair, until Light suddenly grips his shoulders and turns them around.

L is disoriented for a second and hesitates, which prompts Light to ask "Is this still okay?"

L nods, at which Light's hands are suddenly at his shirt and pulling it off, but he doesn't have time to feel insecure because in the same second Light's shirt comes off as well. And L's never felt sexual attraction that often, but in that moment his breath catches in his throat and his hands almost move on their own accord towards Light, fiddling with the waistband of his trousers until they're loose and Light shimmies out of them. L's fingers have already slipped under Light's boxers when he realizes what he's doing and freezes for a second.

It's awfully quiet, their heavy breathing echoing uncomfortably in his ears, Light's sweaty skin pressed so tightly onto his that it's impossible to ignore.

"Go on." Light's voice is reduced to a throaty whisper. "Please."

It's the last word that does it for L. He reconnects their lips almost violently while he lets his fingers go further. He finally reaches Light's his cock, lightly starting to pump and twist, and Light's whole body shakes above him. He slowly increases his pace, until Light breaks the kiss for a second.

L doesn't worry though, because the expression of pure bliss on Light's face tells him that he didn't do anything wrong.

L keeps stroking Light, sucking on his neck and gently playing with his balls until he has to support himself with both hands on the mattress.

Stopping doesn't cross L's mind once now, mainly because Light is constantly murmuring pleas and encouragements into his mouth and if the constant spurts of precome that slick L's movements more and more are anything to go by, he's not doing too bad.

Light gasps and moans loudly when he comes, he collapses against him and it takes him a few moments to recover, in which L can feel his own arousal pulsing painfully hard against Light's hip.

"You haven't done this before, have you?" Light asks against his neck, still breathless.

"No," L answers truthfully.

Light moves back a little, stares into his eyes and says "I'm impressed."

L squirms, having no idea how to respond to that comment. But then he feels Light's fingers at the waistband of his trousers and his mind goes nervously blank again.

He stares up at Light, who's watching him with a almost concerned expression. "Don't worry," he mumbles and L would've laughed at the contradiction if Light hadn't kissed him.

His shorts are pushed away along with his sweatpants. He's naked in mere seconds, and immediately he feels Light's fingers brushing against his length.  
The feeling rushes through him like lightning. His hands start searching for any kind of support, clutching and scratching at Light's back while the world is reduced to nothing but the searing hot sensation of Light above him, while his kisses are the only thing keeping him steady.

Suddenly Light's lips are gone from his mouth and start moving over his throat down his chest, and his hands retreat from L's erection to grip his hips.  
L frowns and starts to push himself up on his elbows, but Light stops him with a hand flat on his chest.

Light smiles. "Trust me?"

L's eyes go wide. He shouldn't, he knows that. Hell, he _can't_. Light is going to kill him and they're supposed to be _enemies_...

But in this moment he does. He trusts Light more than he would anyone else.

He lowers himself back on the bed and relaxes into Light's touch.

Light leaves a trail of kisses down L's chest, pays attention to both of his nipples, and L is soon gasping from every wet touch of Light's mouth, his thoughts turning to dust once more. But it's only when Light's tongue is suddenly on his cock that his control suddenly evaporates into nothing and he's lost and drowning in emotions, from need to something he would almost call love.

L doesn't last long. As soon as Light closes his mouth fully around his length and starts swirling his tongue, _starts swallowing_ , his hips buck up without restraint and he's calling Light's name and holding Light by the hair on his head, keeping him down. He doesn't think about what he's doing, but Light doesn't mind, and when L slumps back, exhausted and relaxed, Light's kiss tastes of something bitter.

"What was that?" Light asks against his lips.

L huffs and his words are bitter. "It doesn't matter."

For a moment, Light's eyes flash with anger, but it passes. He sighs sadly. "No, I suppose it doesn't."

He's silent for a moment and kisses L again. "Can I hold you anyways? Just for tonight?"

L wants to decline. They will most likely kill each other and Light knows that, yet he asks L to pretend. "Yes," he whispers, because he knows they only have tonight.

Light shifts, lays down next to him and pulls L close. His fingers are slowly tracing circles on his back. "I know what you think about me, L," he whispers and L tenses. "But I really do like you."

"I like you too," L mumbles and wishes it wouldn't have to be like this.

 

* * *

 

They don't talk about it.

For the next days, they continued their investigation alongside each other as though nothing had happened and as if they weren't more to each other than colleagues.

L doesn't like it, to have to pretend, but it's easier. They don't have the time to establish something like a relationship, if it was even possible under their circumstances. This way, with no further attempts at kissing or showing affection, he can enjoy Light's company without any kind of pressure.

He tries to keep his mind off the fact that he's going to die, but when he wakes up that one morning, something tells him that it's going to end.

And it's strange, to wait for it to happen without trying to save himself, but he has no proof that something's going to happen, and he's not sure he even wants to win this anymore anyway.

The day passes in a blur, and somehow he finds himself on the rooftop, the rain and his own thoughts drowning out everything else, and he almost doesn't notice Light's presence.

The younger one is clearly saying something, but L can't understand him, and doesn't really care.

Light looks fairly annoyed when he drags L out of he rain, mumbling about how he's risking a cold and L suppresses the urge to snort. He's going to _die_ , why should he worry about a _cold_?

They sit on the stairs and L realizes he doesn't feel angry. Maybe he regrets a bit, not having gotten closer to Light before his inevitable death, but that's too late anyway.

Mainly, he's sad. Not for himself though, but for the fact that Light's potential - _their potential_ \- will go to waste.

They don't talk about what's going to happen either.

L offers a massage and Light looks so confused and bewildered it's almost endearing. L meant it to be comforting, because he knows ( _hopes_ ) that Light is somewhere in there as well, and having his actions controlled by Kira can't be easy.

It's inevitable, though. L feels the minutes ticking away and as much as he wants to, he knows he can't hide.

"It's nearly time to say goodbye," he says sadly when he finally raises from crouching at Light's feet.

Light's eyes go wide, but then cloud with understanding and sadness as well. He doesn't say anything though. His hands reach for L and L let's him tug them closer to each other once more, let's him cup his cheek and kiss him, slowly and carefully.

L immediately relaxes into his touch, meets Light's lips softly and tries to savior the moment as best as he can.

When Light pulls away, there's a tiny smile tugging at his lips. "Thank you," he says.

L doesn't ask for what, and Light turns around and leaves.

L remains where he is for a few moments, enjoys the way the sun is falling through the windows. Then he goes down to where the other are working, blissfully unaware.

He's fairly calm, considering the circumstances, and he manages to keep up his stoic face for a quite a long time.

When Light's father points out how they haven't seen his son in almost two hours, L dismisses Soichiro's worries. When another hour has passed, the resigned feeling in L's chest shifts into something unsettling.

When the elder Yagami raises concern again, he gives in and goes to search for Light. And suddenly, this unsettling feeling in his gut turns into something akin to _panic_ , because the truth of what's really happening crashes onto him and he realizes he's been reading the signs wrong the whole time.  
He knows he'll be too late, but that doesn't stop him from moving as quick as he can.

He follows his intuition into their old bedroom, to the bed they'd made love in just a few days before.

Everything fades when he sets eye on Light's lifeless form, because the sight feels like a punch in the gut. He doesn't need to, but he checks the writing on the tiny, crumpled piece of paper in Light's hand anyway.

_Light Yagami_


End file.
